Random Acts of Kindness

This article was written by Kim Hill

I can’t even tackle how complicated it is for us all to digest random acts of violence. 

With the latest events in Boston still very fresh in our minds and the news crawls on CNN, it only echoes what is happening daily around the world. People are living on the fringe of sanity or insanity… I can’t really distinguish that fine line anymore.

But I can’t surrender to my cynical Cybil twin just yet. Can we be a bit kinder to the regular Joe, strangers, our neighbors and local deli guy? I guess it wouldn’t hurt, right? These are small shifts that can and do have a global impact, so why not? I’ve been on the train more regularly lately after coming to terms with retiring my 1984 Land Cruiser. A moment of silence please… Thank you. As I zipped and zagged from the island of Brooklyn to Manhattan and Queens in between, I realized I am always rushing. 

Even when I wasn’t in a hurry and ahead of schedule, I was still harried. Looking down the train tracks, squeezing past people and rushing past elderly people. I was on the same vibration as the hundreds of people I was rushing past. And where the hell were we all going anyways? 

So one afternoon, I caught myself and grasped that my anxiety was self imposed, and so... I just stopped. I did get yelled at because this revelation occurred as I was getting on the G train during rush hour and several folks did not appreciated the pause. But I understood it-- because I’d been the same way when someone was walking slowly or stopping to catch their breath, God forbid.

So I decided to do an experiment. Change my energy pattern and see what would happen. The next woman I saw with a stroller, I helped her up the stairs. A few moments later, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. These aren’t things I’ve never done before and I see plenty of people extending themselves in the same way often. 

But this time I looked at the reaction of the people around me when I was in action. It was interesting. People offered to help me as I helped others as if it was contagious. My change in perception made me tune into the calm that is very present in the bustling streets of NY. And it calmed and relaxed me, knowing we all really do need each other on some level. Knowing that someone being a jerk can ruin your day, someone offering you a hand up the stairs can make your day. 

Or knowing that making eye contact and smiling is not a lost art misinterpreted as an invitation for a man to hit on you, but instead, an opportunity for you to take a break from being so on guard. 

Why are we all so protective again? I get it… we must be watchful and cautious as we navigate the world around us, as not everyone means us good. But perhaps, a smile that leads to a conversation could help people in pain seek other alternatives that don’t involve setting off bombs in public places. 

I don’t have the answers, but I am trying to see where I can make some changes. If kindness is contagious, I need to spread it and catch more of it. 

That’s the only thing I’m open to catching by the way… I still carry my hand sanitizer everywhere I go. Even on the G train.